How I Found Re-Connection & Re-Enlightenment in Tulum

I debated with myself on how to start this blog post, since it’s less of a self-help post, and a more personal one. But it is a story that I feel called to share simply because it was too profound of a transition of feeling to not share, and I believe it could really help someone, if by doing nothing but giving a bit of hope.

2020 was obviously a rough year. Personally, I feel very grateful for what I did have during quarantine - I was home, my bills were kept to a minimum, and even though I was furloughed from my job, I had the opportunity to build my business in meantime without burning myself out. I got outside more, and most importantly I really connected within myself. But there was one thing missing - as a world traveler, on top of traveling frequently to new places, I also take an annual solo trip to Italy and with COVID, that simply wasn’t a possibility. 

My heart ached, and by the time January 2021 rolled around I was starting to feel really stale on the inside. I know it was a new year, and I did feel like the collective had a weight lifted, but I still felt a little...well, dead, on the inside. Not only that, I was struggling in some aspects with growing my business. I felt stuck, I kept thinking to myself “Why isn’t this working?! How can I move forward? How can I make this work? How will I survive if my business doesn’t start to grow and thrive?”

Luckily, I had a trip to Tulum planned with my first business coach - there were supposed to be 7 other women, but with the pandemic, I actually ended up being the only one going - and let me tell you, while I felt a little weird about it at first, the introvert within me felt a bit relieved. I would get 4, essentially VIP, days with my business coach. 

I won’t go into detail about what exactly we did (but I will say we had some AMAZING coffee, saw some great cenotes, and made it to the beach), I do want to elaborate on what influenced the reconnection with myself. 

You must know, I’m not really the kind of person to go out in nature. I live in Colorado but I’m not a mountain girl. So yes I feel lucky to live here, but at the same time, I don’t understand the hype and I think that makes me feel like I’m stuck in the wrong place. I’m not a big hiker, I prefer the beach, and I use my annual overseas trips as a way to reconnect and get grounded - to feel small, and to realign my perspective to remember how small we are, and just how little we actually need to survive and to feel happy. To feel joy in the little, beautiful things that we can’t seem to find at home, or that we wish we could experience.

My actual bathroom

In Tulum I stayed in a beautiful bungalow that was major #junglevibes and it was quite a grounding experience. The bathroom was actually outdoors, and I showered amongst beautiful tropical fauna, with all the coconut-smelling natural products. This non-outdoor girl had no choice but to connect. Bare feet on the stones, shower pouring hot water on me, while it rained cool water on me at the same time - I felt...alive. I could feel it all. I could smell it all. I could see sun and green plants and...life. I slept in the comfiest bed in a spacious room with ceilings so high I could feel my spirit rise from my body to simply be. 

Luckily the ceilings were also high enough that my room didn’t get too smokey when I accidentally left my incense burning for an entire yoga session. Let’s just say, there was no bad energy left in my room after that 😅. Which, I also believe led to the clearing of my own energy.

One of the things my coach and I did to work on my business was to work through some major blocks I was struggling with. I described to her that I felt like I was in a glass or plastic bubble, I could see everything that I desired, and knew was meant for me encircling this bubble, but I couldn’t reach out and grab them because when I did reach out, my hand would be stopped by the barrier that was this bubble. 

And then the most obvious yet sage words:

“Can you break the glass?”

Glass breaks, plastic breaks, with enough force. I told her I could try, and I envisioned myself trying to break this glass. We spent a few minutes here in silence, while I smashed what seemed to be an indestructible bubble that was around me (subconsciously I mean). 

And when I finally broke it to pieces, it felt like I could breathe again. And most excitedly, I could reach out and grab those things I could only see before. I could hold them in my hands, cradle them like a child, my child, my livelihood, all that I desired. The car, the home, the travel, the family. It was all there, in my arms. 

And the glass? I needed to get rid of it, so I bottled it up in a jar and left it in space - in the vast consciousness of the Universe. I can still see it there, floating in space, but I will not go near it. Not necessarily because I think the jar will break and the bubble will come around me again (though there might be a slighttttt fear), but because I don’t have a desire to be near that energy. 

When we completed this exercise, she did a hypnotherapy session with me. I actually don’t remember much from this exercise. I’m not sure if I fell asleep, or fell so deep into the hypnotic state that I have trouble recollecting what happened. I remember being semi-conscious, I could hear some of what she was saying, words, phrases, here and there, but I came out feeling so refreshed, regenerated, and … light. 

Peep the white aura!

The third full day there was my last day with her, and this day was reserved for beach time. Which, I already knew was going to fill my cup. It wasn’t the sunniest when we first arrived, and it was quite windy, but we were at the beach, it was warm, and I was happy. I dug my feet and freshly painted shell pink toes into the sand and remember thinking “I want to remember this forever.” The ultimate grounding. My heart, my chest, my head, my body - it all felt so light. I was at peace. But this peace was different from other peace’s I’ve felt before. I didn’t feel emotional, I felt...reconnected. I felt like my connection to the divine was restored, like my energy was finally clear. And this light peace made me feel like I could breathe again. Like I could finally function properly again. My cup was full. What’s even crazier, is I took a selfie of myself and I can actually see a white light around my head/body in the photo. 

If you’ve made it to the end, I want to thank you for taking the time to read about my journey. If you’ve struggled with anything similar, I hope this blog post was able to give you a sense of hope. I realized that I love traveling because I love to see new things, and I’ve made a promise to myself to explore something new at least once a month for this year, so that I have that sense of awe, however large or small. 

Things will be alright for you, for us, for the world, soon enough. We have so much to be grateful for right now, and it’s important in these tough times to remember exactly what we do have.