The Confidence Conversation: Part I - What is Confidence?
Part 1 of 3
What is Confidence?
Since this is such a big and important topic, this is actually the first of a three-part series of blog posts on confidence. There’s just too much information I want to share, and I don’t want to bore you to death with a blog post that’s more of an epic than anything.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
There are three immediate definitions that appear when you look up the meaning of the word “confidence”:
the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
While I like all of these definitions, I also wanted to create a definition that sums up each of these concepts. When talking about self-confidence, I like to think of it as:
A feeling of certainty and truth within ones’ self and capabilities.
But how do we get there? And especially when we live in a society plagued by unrealistic beauty and lifestyle standards? I’ve noticed through observation of my own, and other’s experiences that there is a tendency to think “I can’t (insert verb) like that.”
Here’s a burning question for ya: Why the heck not?
For many, lack of confidence stems from childhood - maybe you were bullied, maybe you were ashamed or made to feel ashamed of who you are, or maybe you just didn’t like who you were but felt powerless to change it.
Conditioning plays a massive role in the development of our self-confidence, and our conditioning comes in the form of what we hear, see, and experience. Oftentimes, conditioning occurs unintentionally, but it is rare to grow up without conditioning of some kind - be it beneficial or harmful.
I believe a lack of self confidence stems from harmful conditioning, but also our own (skewed!) perception of ourselves (such as body dysmorphia). But I have great news - we can change this. It may not be easy, but it is completely do-able, and it has to do with shifting your perception of yourself.
Rather than seeing yourself as lacking or less than, I encourage you to see yourself through the lens of strength - what have you overcome? What have you achieved? I’m not saying to ignore issues that may exist, but maybe for some of them, there’s no need to overthink and it’s possible to shift away from the problem just by shifting your perspective.
Confidence is expressed in a multitude of ways - physicals and non-verbals, verbally, and most prominently, through your thoughts, actions, and feelings. If you are unsure how or where to start, I encourage you to simply pick one expression method and focus on shifting that.
For example, if you do not feel confident in the gym because you are self-conscious about your clothes, buy a bomb ass workout outfit that makes you feel like a bad b*tch every time you walk into the gym. When you feel better there, you’ll feel more confident in walking around, trying new things, figuring out how to do things, and just doing your thing.
When it comes to confidence, there are a few things you should know that it is, and that it is not.
Confidence is:
Self-Trust & Self-Assurance
A feeling of security within yourself, and a contentedness in who you are and what you bring to the table as a package
Faith in support
Faith in yourself
Deep-Rooted
Resolute
Confidence is NOT:
Shallow or surface level
Always going to be there - even the most confident person can feel moments where they lack it
Always innate (often times, it must be built)
Fake (though it can be imitated)
Fleeting
Cockiness
Now that you know exactly what confidence is, come back for next week’s post: The Key to Confidence.
If you struggle with confidence and are ready to stop feeling timid and unsure, check out the Confidence of Course -Self-Study Program. It’s a four week self-paced course with pre-recorded modules, Live Q&A’s, free affirmations list, and so much more! Click the button to learn more!
